Feliz 2013 and Happy New Year to all! It’s a new year and hopefully the year we’re going to bring our kids home, woo hoo! Here is a new picture to show the progress of our nopales.
For our most recent adoption update, we were informed that our dossier (our big adoption file) was approved in Mexico City by National DIF (National System for the Full Development of the Family, or the Sistema Nacional de Desarollo Integral de la Familia) and the SRE (Secretary for Exterior Relations, or the Secretaria de Relaciones Exteriores) which means we’ve made it through one step, check! The dossier is now being sent to Sonora where the local state DIF will try to find a match with children available for adoption with our dossier, aka us. This could take a few months, we have no idea, could be sooner, could be longer. Now we wait. Tick tock.
With our spare time we’re getting out there in the adoption world and getting advice, knowledge, and in Edgar’s case, moderating a panel on adoption! Edgar recently moderated a panel on adoption at Southern California Public Radio’s (where he works) Crawford Family Forum titled: “What does it take to become a family? A conversation about the realities of adopting” It was a great conversation with both Edgar and two other guests sharing their stories.
We learned some important information, mainly from one adoptive parent who said that when people ask her about her child’s “real” mom, she says “I’m his real mom, I’m not imaginary.” Best comeback ever. Ever. Siana appreciates these comebacks as she usually thinks of witty comments 2-3 days too late.
But seriously, we learned that how you respond to people’s crazy and invasive questions about your adoption will not only affect how people understand the issue, but also how your children react to how you respond. Made us think twice about the sarcasm that usually comes out and that maybe we’ll need to mix in some sensible, confident and high road comment comebacks to use when around our kids.
It was a great event with good advice and stories shared. There was also a map illustrating all the places people have gone to adopt, you’ll see that ours is the only line drawn from Mexico to California, we see ourselves as trailblazers. 🙂
🙂 wonderful news you “trailblazers”! and Happy New Year to both of you!
Onward and upward.
Looking forward to reading your updates and so glad you are making progress. 2013 will be an adventuresome year!
Congratulations and love at this next exciting step. Here’s to patience and deep breaths.
I came across your blog while searching for a transcript from the “What does it take to become a family” forum. Although I am local, I was out of town and unable to attend the event. I’ll be honest; when I originally read the description, I was disappointed to see that the panel did not include all members of the adoption triad. I applaud you for considering and discussing “what it means to be adopted”. As I’m sure you’re discovering, there are a myriad of emotions for someone whose story involves adoption. I’d love to see a future forum that includes an adoptee and birth parent as well so they can represent themselves in what adoption has meant for them.
I was also moved by your explanation of the “real” mom concept. I’m encouraged to hear confidence in your understanding of how valuable you are in your child’s life. As an adoptee, I have two moms, both of which, I assure you, are very real. For that matter, I have two dads as well! While this strays from a traditional family model, all of them are unquestionably necessary in shaping who I am as a person. I find it helpful to explain to others that the existence of one does not negate the other. My interaction with all four of my parents is based on a bond with each one of them rather than their exclusive “ownership” of me.
Thanks for the comment Steph and for visiting our website. With regard to the adoption panel, one of the panelists was an adoptee herself and also an adoptive parent which may not have been obvious from the description, but you are right that there wasn’t a birth parent there and that’s a good note for future events. Thanks so much for the comment and we hope you’ll be back to visit our site!